We all like to “talk big”. I am going to ask that person out on a date! I am going to start that big home improvement project! I am going to start working out! I am going to start saving for that trip I want go on!
Ok, what is your follow through percentage? Of those, how many did you complete and stick with?
If those percentages are small, perhaps you are in “Shoulda” mode.
Shoulda mode is a constant state of regret. You are holding yourself back by a constant reminder of feeling like you let yourself down with past experiences you continue to revisit. It is natural to have a Shoulda mode every now and again. It isn’t healthy if you stay there for a long period of time. That can cause an unhealthy slide of food, alcohol, and further bad decisions that are punitive to your body, mind, and spirit.
How can you get out of Shoulda mode?
Start small! Make it a growth pattern and plan that you can build off and remain positive.
Want to improve your fitness? Go for a walk. Get back on your bike. Go one mile. Two the next day.
Want to start saving for a trip? Create a travel plan budget and targets for saving for it. Grab your loose change and you have already started!
It is these small items that will build momentum. Momentum is addicting and repetitive.
They become a success avalanche that builds on each other leading to more success. Now start thinking about the reaction your body has to these successes. The emotional reaction of achievement, the biochemical reaction release of endorphins and the physical feeling of walking taller knowing you are heading in the right direction. It becomes one of the few addictions that you should be happy about.
I heard this very cool thing one time. “We are all successful, but they are in fleeting moments. The key to perceived successful people is to make those successes happen closer together.” Think about that and your new goals. Breaking them into closer moments of success will create an environment of success.
One key that I have used to work on my successful moment and goals is communication. Tell people what you are working on/towards. Ask someone to join you. Have them hold you accountable to your goal.
That was the genesis for “Team Kyle”. There was no way I was going to be able to work on a new me (PTSD, Fitness, my past) without experts in their fields, holding me accountable and cheering me on. I have some great people in all aspects of this. I have a tremendous PTSD therapist who almost works exclusively with police and first responders. My personal trainer is one of the best in the world at what he does. I have a nutritionist that knows my goals and what foods I am more apt to eat. My mentor in helping me in building This Contrarian Life movement is one of the craziest, positive people I know. I then have friends and family that support me and keep me going in all of my aspects of life.
It is this last group that holds me most accountable. They have the freedom to call me out when I slip or get off plan. I appreciate their feedback and sometimes tough, direct talk. I am human and will make mistakes. It is their encouragement and time engagement that I don’t want to let down. They are using their time to help me, and it is invaluable.
There are also people that opted out of Team Kyle and that is ok. Their time is just as valuable and invested elsewhere. That I respect and appreciate. My biggest hope for all of you is that you invest your time wisely. For the very few that were directly negative to my recovery and goals…I wish you luck in tackling your demons and finding your own wellness path.
There is always open positions on Team Kyle. Once I get this right (Kyle), I am going to pay it back and then some.
That folks, will never fall into the Shoulda Mode. I am going to pay this all back. You can count on it.
